This public statement is my response to a relentless attack orchestrated by two former friends designed to permanently ruin my personal and professional lives. This attack has lasted seven years and features several false and defamatory allegations characterizing me as a “groomer” and abuser of women. The allegations also involve unfounded and untrue conspiracy theories about my separation from Duke University. Until now, I have remained publicly silent in an attempt to move on with my career and not breathe further life into these baseless accusations. Unfortunately, given the continued efforts by these few individuals, I am compelled to provide anyone interested with my side of the story. My hope is that, with this statement publicly available, anyone who comes across the allegations of these individuals in the future will at least also consider what I have to say before making ultimate judgments about who I am as a person. All I seek is to be able to move forward in my life and career without being unfairly demonized as someone I am not. 

While the vast majority of what is being said about me by these in this smear campaign is baseless, speculative, and false, the truth is that in December of 2017, I had an affair with one of my former students. The relationship lasted a few months, she was 20 years old at the time, and we ended on good terms. While the relationship was completely consensual (as publicly stated by the woman involved), it was also completely inappropriate. I have already taken responsibility for my role in the relationship and have addressed my deep regrets with both the woman involved and my former wife. I am sincerely regretful of my actions during my final semester as a professor. 

That said, contrary to the allegations, I have not engaged in inappropriate relationships with any other students. The claim that this inappropriate relationship was one amongst other inappropriate relationships is simply not true. The claim that this inappropriate relationship was the product of grooming or abuse is also not true. Contrary to the accusations, I have neither blackmailed any of my former romantic partners, nor pressured or coerced any person I ever worked with to engage in sexual acts or relationships with me. As for the conspiracy theories surrounding my departure from Duke, all I can permissibly say is that they are not true and that is objectively provable. 

This campaign to destroy my career and life began in 2017 by a former friend and collaborator named Monica Byrne. I remained silent on social media, advised to submit, ignore her lies, and recognize her First Amendment rights to criticize me. I waited for the shaming to abate until it escalated in 2019 when, joined by another former friend named Adam Schultz, the two began emailing the venues where my company was scheduled to perform informing them that I was a dangerous sexual predator. These individuals, without any authorization or justification, have publicly shared my hacked e-mails including private content. Renewing their attacks in 2023, these two individuals have continued to attempt to ruin my life and have mobilized others to do the same at their direction by contacting my employers and current school with threats and slander. Clearly, their objective is to render me unemployed and penniless, not to protect innocent victims. There are none and no one is in any danger from me.

 In Jon Ronson’s book So You’ve Been Publicly Shamed the author quotes the punitive judge Ted Poe: 

 “The justice system in the West has a lot of problems, but at least there are rules. You have basic rights as the accused. You have your day in court. You don’t have any rights when you’re accused on the Internet. And the consequences are worse. It’s worldwide forever.” 

I ask that anyone who has read the lies of my shamers on jayoberski.org to also bear in mind my basic rights to work and seek happiness. 

Thank you,

Jaybird O’Berski